


Out of Practice, Out of Sight

by makkachino



Series: Afterglow [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, Post-Coital Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 15:38:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17942465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makkachino/pseuds/makkachino
Summary: But there he was. Sirius Black, long time friend, long time crush, the boy that Remus was so sure he could never have, for more reasons than he ever cared to count, because what was the point of making himself more miserable - that Sirius Black, was in his bed. They were a tangled mess of limbs and sheets and blankets and his long, black hair; messy but heartwarming and perfect, just like last night had been.





	Out of Practice, Out of Sight

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man, I haven't written this ship in... I don't even want to think about how long. Wolfstar is very dear to my heart, I've been shipping it for so long, and I always end up coming back to it. I had a lot of fun working on this, I've even started working on another oneshot for them (not for this series, something completely different), maybe that one will end up finished and posted soon; I feel like I'm on a roll!

The first thing Remus noted, as he began to rejoin the waking world, was how dark it was. Even behind closed eyes, he could tell there was no sunlight shining on his face. That was normally how he woke up, how he  _preferred_ to wake up; with the friendly reminder that, despite everything, the world was still spinning around the sun, and that life would go on. He felt far too well-rested for it to be too early-

That train of thought was derailed by a low, disgruntled growl, and Remus was suddenly very aware of the warm, firm weight on top of him, the long, tangled hair tickling his nose, the pair of cold feet pressed up against his legs...

Even before he opened his eyes, Remus knew what he was about to see. Now that he was fully awake and aware, he couldn’t believe that he had forgotten, even for a few moments in a sleepy daze, what had happened to him the night before. Still, despite knowing exactly what was in store for him, he took in a sharp, shocked breath, at the sight man curled up next to him, clinging to him like Remus was his lifeline in a deep, dark ocean.

He was beautiful, even like this; hair tousled, eyes closed tight, a bit of drool drying on his chin.

No, Remus stood corrected. He looked even  _more_ beautiful like this. Because this was something special. This was a Sirius he had never seen before. He wasn’t naive enough to think that he was the only person who had ever seen Sirius like this, but he still liked to believe that this was a rare sight; Sirius usually came home after his… night time excursions. It was rare that he spent the night with anyone.

But there he was. Sirius Black, long time friend, long time crush, the boy that Remus was so sure he could never have, for more reasons than he ever cared to count, because what was the point of making himself more miserable -  _that_ Sirius Black, was in his bed. They were a tangled mess of limbs and sheets and blankets and his long, black hair; messy but heartwarming and  _perfect_ , just like last night had been.

He could hear their dormmates, up and around and getting dressed for the day, but it was all white noise in the background, with the sound of Sirius breathing, so close to his ear, taking up all of his attention. In an unusual fit of impulsivity, much more characteristic of his friends, Remus squeezed him tightly, completely burying his face in that shaggy black hair, knowing full well that this might be his only opportunity to do so.

When Sirius made another uncomfortable grumbling sound next to him, shifting around in his arms as he finally woke up, Remus suddenly felt like he had made a terrible mistake. He had woken Sirius up, and now the moment was gone, their night together was over. He was the happiest he had ever been, with Sirius, holding him and being held by him, kissing him and being kissed by him, and instead of letting Sirius sleep, drawing out the best night of his life for as long as he possibly could, Remus had chosen to wake him up. He could feel his fleeting happiness shattering all around him, like the first - and only - time he had been permitted to visit the House of Black, and he had watched in abject horror as Sirius threw a knickknack at his mother’s dressing mirror, splintering the cold glass into tiny pieces-

That less than pleasant memory was quickly swept back into the far corners of his mind, where it rightfully belonged, when he felt Sirius kissing his way up his jaw, his soft lips and prickly stubble creating a contrast so perfect that it made Remus shiver.

Sirius hummed, so close that Remus could feel his breath on his neck. “Moony…”

Experimentally, his fingers began to trace small circles, against the smooth, warm skin of Sirius’ shoulders. If he was still kissing him, surly that meant Remus was still permitted to touch him? “Yes? What is it?”

“What do you think?” His mumble sounded a little impatient, and when he began to roll his hips forward, Remus felt his face flare. “I wanna fuck-”

“Sirius!” Remus hissed, pushing gently on the other boy’s shoulders. He felt warm before, but now his face felt as if it were on fire. “We can’t-”

“Sure we can!” He sounded more playful, now, and one of his hands began combing through his partner’s much shorter hair, as he continued kissing at his neck. Sirius tugged gently on those thin, brown locks, exposing more of his neck, and quickly taking advantage of the new, unexplored territory. “We did it last night, we’re both completely capable.”

Remus gulped. Oh, God, he was serious! He really wanted to have sex. Again. Perhaps all of that bragging about his libido had some truth to it after all. “Peter and James are right out there!”

He could feel Sirius smirking against his skin. “They were there last night, too. Didn’t stop you then. You couldn’t keep your hands off of me. Not that I wanted you to. In fact, I wish you’d put them back on me right now-”

“But now they’re  _awake!_ ”

“What? I  _did_ put up that silencing charm, it’s not like they can hear us as long as we keep the curtains closed.” Remus felt those long, soft fingers circling one of his nipples, though Sirius continued to talk, as if this were a casual conversation, and that small act of affection wasn’t driving Remus completely crazy. “We could do anything we wanted, no one out there would ever know. We could spend the whole day in bed, just us. There’s so much of you that I didn’t get to touch last night...”

Even with his teeth clamped over his bottom lip, a deep, strangled moan escaped, giving away the fact that those simple touches were getting to him. When Remus glanced over, he could tell that Sirius knew exactly what he was doing, based on his smirk alone. But he was still looking at Remus, expectantly, as if asking for permission to do anything more.

It wasn’t a look Remus was used to seeing on that ridiculously handsome face.

“I, ah-!” He was cut off with a gasp, when Sirius pressed his blunt fingernail against the sensitive nub just a bit too roughly. “I want to, really! There’s nothing I want more, but…”

“But…?” Sirius said, eyes still on Remus, as the hand torturing his nipple finally moved on, in favor of caressing his abdomen instead, paying extra attention to a deep, ugly scar that Remus had no memory of receiving, but had to see in the mirror every morning after showering all the same.

“But… They’re  _awake_ ,” Remus repeated, not quite sure what else to say. “And even if they can’t hear us, it’s… It still doesn’t feel private enough.”

Sirius smiled, and the hand trailing dangerously close to his navel wandered back up, tracing his collarbones. The heat of the moment had evaporated, like water left to boil on the stove for too long. Remus let out a sigh of relief. They shared a moment of silence, staring at each other, curious hands roaming over every bit of exposed skin they could touch. Remus was amazed to find that, as his own callused fingers danced up and down his partner’s arm, the thin hair there stood on end, goosebumps forming in the wake up his fingertips.

Unsurprisingly, Sirius was the one to break the silence. To his credit, Remus  _was_  surprised he lasted as long as he did; sometimes it seemed like he was almost afraid of any moment that was too quiet. “I’d never make you do something you didn’t want to, Moony, you know that.”

He snorted, “I don’t know if that’s  _true_.”

Sirius shifted on the mattress, as if he was trying to move even closer. “You know what I mean.”

“I do.”

“And you know I  _mean_ it.” He lifted his head, concern clouding his grey eyes. “You do, don’t you?”

Remus smiled, and nodded. “Yes, I do.”

A small, satisfied huff, and those fingers began exploring again, daring to dip just a bit lower. Sirius put his head down again, on his chest now, instead of the pillow. “Good. Y’know, Moony, I-”

Sirius was interrupted, when the curtain on the four poster bed was pulled open in one swift yank, causing the light from the window to spill inside what had been, up until that moment, a very quiet, intimate space. The sunlight that Remus had missed so much that morning suddenly felt so intrusive, but that was nothing compared to the way James and Peter were staring at them, like strange animals in a zoo.

“Oh my God!”

Peter looked as mortified as Remus felt; his jaw would have to detach from the rest of his mouth, to get any closer to the floor. Thankfully, his mouth was hung open in silence, his face red as a cherry.

James adjusted his glasses; a gesture Remus had come to recognize as something he did when he had something cocky to say, or if he needed to buy himself a few more seconds to come up with something cocky to say. “Well,” he started, and Remus braced himself for impact. “I didn’t realize this is what you meant, when you two said you would be up late studying.”

“You’re naked,” Peter said, completely dumbfounded.

“I always sleep like this,” Sirius grumbled, propping himself up on his elbows. Remus shivered, his chest now exposed to the cold air of the room around them. He already missed the way Sirius felt next to him, warming him in a way that he didn’t even know was possible, until last night.

“In Moony’s bed, you mean?” Not used to being on the other side of James’ biting sense of humor, Remus sometimes forgot how much his words could sting. Those he felt, deep in his chest.

Sirius didn’t seem to take them that way. He only laughed, brushing his long, shaggy black hair out of his face, only for most of it to fall back into his eyes again. “Maybe. So what?”

Remus wanted to hide under his blanket, and never come out. “Padfoot-!”

“Aw, c’mon, I was just teasing.” Remus wasn’t sure if he was grateful, or embarrassed even further, when Sirius tucked himself back into his previous position; pressed up against his side, legs tangled together, head under his chin. He had practically made that spot his second home; something that Remus wouldn’t have complained about at all, if it weren’t for their audience.

“Do you really…” Peter started to ask his question before he was really ready, his hands trying to finish it for him when his mouth couldn’t quite get there. He made a few vague, intangible gestures, while his friends waited for him to finish. “Um, you know… Is this a thing? That you just didn’t tell us about?”

He looked hurt, Remus realized. Hurt that two of his closest friends would keep something like this a secret from him, after all they had been through together. So, despite his apprehension to say much of anything about this, whatever  _this_  was going to end up being, before he and Sirius could discuss that themselves, Remus decided to tell his friends the truth. He shook his head. “No. This… This was the first time.”

There was a knowing glint in James’ eyes, visible even behind his glasses. His smile was suddenly much softer, as he placed his hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Okay, I think that’s enough vicious mockery for now. Come on, Wormtail. Let’s let these two get their affairs in order. I’d rather have some breakfast than watch this disgusting display-” He paused, throwing them a wink, as if to say that they shouldn’t take that particular jab too harshly. “Wouldn’t you?”

“I suppose-”

“Excellent.” James was already turning to leave, the hand on Peter’s shoulder guiding him along. “Well, we’ll be off then. Don’t suck on his face too hard, Padfoot; if he can’t help me pass that Astronomy presentation tonight, he’s essentially useless to me-”

“Oh, get out!” Sirius snarled after them. Remus gasped as he felt the pillow beneath his head being pulled away, only fully realizing what was happening when he saw it sailing across the room, colliding with James’ back as the two boys reached the staircase. His laughter could be heard, echoing back up to their shared dormitory for several moments after they disappeared from Remus’ line of sight.

“Prick.” From this angle, his glare looked particularly menacing, but by the time Sirius turned back to Remus, it had melted away into… something. Remus wasn’t quite sure what, and he didn’t have enough time to put much thought into it, before he was kissed.

It wasn’t a particularly gentle kiss, either; nothing like that first hesitant peck they had shared, sitting in that dark, private corner of the library. Remus hadn’t been sure who had initiated it, and the look on Sirius’s face suggested he didn’t, either. The second kiss had followed shortly after, much longer than that tentative first attempt, but still chaste, still a bit unsure.

This kiss was much more like the tenth, twelfth, or even twentieth kiss - despite having waited years for those kisses, Remus had quickly lost track as they became more frenzied. After Sirius had pulled the curtains of his four-poster bed closed, he had stopped counting them altogether.

It was hard to do much of anything, while Sirius was kissing him. Focusing on anything else with that warm, already too-familiar weight on top of him, while that experienced tongue absolutely debauched his mouth, was asking far too much.

Sirius seemed to be enjoying himself just as much. The sound he made when Remus easily parted his lips for him could only be described as euphoric. When Remus dared to open his eyes, just a little, just to get a peek, Sirius’ expression was one of pure bliss. Even with his eyes closed, he looked so content, in a way that Remus had never seen him look before. Maybe it was the angle, and the fact that he could only see so much, if he wanted to keep kissing him (and Remus did; he wanted to keep kissing him more than he’d ever wanted anything before in his entire life), but Remus was almost positive that he was enjoying this just as much.

The night before, Remus had been quick to push any doubts aside. He had been so quick, to jump into bed with one of his closest friends, refusing to think further ahead than the next few seconds. That magic was gone now, and he knew that, as pleasant as this was, as much as he wanted this... The questions that had been lingering in the back of his mind all night couldn't go unanswered, for much longer. 

“Sirius…?”

Sirius connected their lips again, for just a few seconds, before mumbling a soft, “What?”

“How long?”

Sirius propped himself up on his elbows again, looking thoughtful. “I’m still trying to wake up, but I think I could go for a few hours-”

“No, no! Not that!” Remus buried his face in his hands, laughing despite the blush that was slowly blooming across his face. And… Christ,  _hours?!_  “I meant, how long have you wanted… this?”

“Wanted what, exactly?” Sirius looked impatient as ever, brows furrowed, mouth turned down into a frown. “Come on, can’t we just go back to kissing-”

“Me.” He interrupted, eyes still hidden behind his fingers, the word escaping his kiss-swollen lips before he could stop himself. Remus needed to know, needed something tangible and real, before he could jump in again.

“Ah, Moony, I don’t know…” He mumbled, in that tone that meant  _‘ah, Moony, I_ do  _know, I just don’t want to say it_ ’, a tone that usually meant he was in trouble. He didn’t speak again, until Remus parted his fingers, peeking out to make eye contact that Sirius quickly broke. For the first time since Sirius woke up, Remus felt like he wasn’t the most flustered person in the room. He laughed, one quick, forced exhale, before he confessed. “Always, I guess? Forever.”

That was real enough. Too real, maybe; Remus suddenly felt heavy, with the weight of that knowledge. “Always? As in...  _always?_ ”

“Well…” Sirius rubbed the back of his neck, his usually smug, handsome grin bogged down with anxiety. “Yeah. I mean, just look at you, mate. You’re fucking beautiful.”

“Beautiful?” That wasn’t a word Remus was used to hearing, when he was being described.  _Handsome_ , if he was lucky, and mostly coming from his mother.  _Brainy_ ,  _tall_ ,  _gangly_ , those were all adjectives he was used to.  _Badly dressed, tired, nosy, bookworm..._

“Are you just going to keep repeating everything I say?” Sirius joked, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “Or are you going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

He rolled his eyes. “How long, Moony?”

“Always,” he said, at the risk of being teased again, for simply repeating what Sirius said first. “Forever.”

“Oh,  _Moony-_ ” Sirius paused, mid-swoon, to kiss him again. “You big-” Another kiss. “Stupid sap-” Kiss. “All of my teeth are going to rot and fall out of my mouth, if you keep this up.”

Remus giggled, happy and content, to lean up into each and every one of those kisses. “You said it first!”

“Well, what’s a man to do; after he’s found out he could have had you all along, and you’ve loved him back this whole time? I think I’m allowed a cheesy line or two, just to get it out of my system.”

He was blushing for an entirely new reason, now. “You  _love_ me?”

“Don’t be daft,” Remus squirmed, feeling Sirius pinch his side roughly. “Of course I do. And you love me, too. You said so last night, about a dozen times.”

Ah, right. Between waking up with Sirius in his bed, and then promptly being discovered by Peter and James, Remus hadn’t had time to review the events of the night before, despite the fact that those exact events were what landed him in this situation in the first place. They all came flooding back to him; how easy it had been, to tumble into bed with his best friend, how they barely had to speak, they just  _knew_ what to do, what the other wanted or needed (though, some of that could have been attributed to Sirius, and his much higher level of experience). How embarrassingly  _desperate_ he was, clinging to his lover, gasping and moaning and begging for more kisses or touches or anything that Sirius was willing to give him.

He could at least take comfort in the fact that Sirius had been just as desperate. When Remus clung to him, he clung back, sometimes too tight, though Remus didn’t dare say anything to deter him. He didn’t want to let go, even when Remus insisted that they needed to at least clean up a little, before they fell asleep sticky with sweat.

And, perhaps most importantly of all, Sirius had stayed with him, even though his own bed was just a few feet away. He had risked getting caught more times than Remus could count, sneaking through the castle at night to get back after a tryst or a one-night stand. He even claimed to go as far as Hogsmeade and back, once, though Remus wasn’t sure if he believed that, as miserable and jealous as he had been at the time. But, with his own, private bed that close, and no risk of getting caught by a teacher or the groundskeeper or a ghost, Sirius had stayed.

“So… What do we do now?”

Sirius snorted. “You already shot down my suggestion. You have to come up with the next idea.”

He had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. “You know what I mean, Padfoot. What do we do about  _us_ _?_  You can’t exactly take someone like me home to your parents.”

“Oh, absolutely not. It's completely out of the question!” Sirius nodded in agreement, quickly adding, before Remus got a chance to feel too broken up about it, “I care for you far too much to put you through something like that. We’ll elope in secret, to Italy. With the Black family jewels of course, and maybe a few of those horrific candlesticks my mother loves so much-”

“Sirius...”

“Not all of them; splitting up the set will just make her angrier, which is half the fun-”

“You’re rambling. And avoiding the question.”

“What?” Sirius asked innocently. “I’m planning our future, Moony.”

“You’re joking around.”

“I am not!” He said, the full-pout coming out, complete with the lower-lip quiver that Remus found impossible to say no to. Thankfully, he put the expression away quickly. “Alright, maybe I was, a little, but I meant it. About eloping. Maybe not right this second, but- But I meant it, when I said that I love you. And I know you meant it, when you said that you love me.”

For a moment, all Remus could do was nod. He wasn’t like Sirius or James; his words never came to him, quite as quickly. Especially now, with the night before weighing heavily - comfortably heavy, but heavy all the same - on his mind. An impossible thing had happened,  _was still happening_ , so fast and so sudden and so absolutely perfect that Remus still couldn’t believe it. “I did mean it. I do mean it.”

“So say it.”

He took a deep breath. “I love you."

Seemingly satisfied with that, Sirius returned to what Remus could only assume was his new favorite place; head rested on his lover’s shoulder, face nuzzling at his neck, legs tangled together under the messy blankets. “Well, that’s that, isn’t it? We love each other and we’re going to be together, and now I’m going back to sleep.”

Would it really be that simple? Remus had his doubts; a lycanthrope, and a disinherited first-born of a prominent pure-blood family - and that wasn’t even touching on the fact that they were both men! Nothing about this was simple, or easy, and nothing about their lives moving forward would be easy, or fair, or half of the things that Sirius’ wild imagination had probably come up with. He’d already mentioned  _eloping_ , to Italy; why there, Remus had no idea, but a country where neither of them spoke the language hardly seemed like a good choice-

Those thoughts were interrupted, Sirius began to snore. Apparently, he had meant it, when he said he was going to sleep. 

Remus didn’t mind. If anything, he welcomed the chance to be alone with his thoughts, after the hectic morning. Their first night together had been sudden and passionate, and while he wouldn’t have changed that for anything, he cherished the opportunity to let his brain catch up with his heart. With his arms wrapped firmly around Sirius, finally, after so much pining and wanting and daydreaming and jealousy, Remus had a feeling that it wouldn’t take very long.


End file.
